This combines two great loves of mine: mid-century aesthetics and stupidity.
In case your device doesn't let you zoom in, here's the text in its entirety:
"Introducing the Hottest in home refrigeration technology:
"Goldilocks sure had it rough, didn't she? She found an open house, and assumed hospitality – and who wouldn't, in this obliging country of ours? – only to find that her first lovingly received gift of porridge was too hot! And the next, too cold! Why, if she hadn't been delayed at that dinner table, she might have been awake before those nasty bears sprang their trap!
"Well, Goldilocks need never again be punished for others' charity, thanks to the Luke Warmer™! Just put in your food, turn the dial, and in no time at all, you'll be eating almost-room-temperature goodies!
"With every order, we'll give you a copy of Luke's Cookbook™, absolutely free! Tempt your family and friends with Warm Cheese Sandwiches™ or a fruity cup of So-SoGurt™! Start off your mornings with a piping-tepid Cup'o'Joe™, or load in some ice cubes and cool off after a hot day with our patented Liquid Ice™!
"Order yours at 1-800-LUKE-WARMER today!"