We always fear that the apocalypse is fast approaching and whether or not the human population will be ready for the day that zombies finally take over our world. Even the most prepared of people worry about not being able to survive out there when worse comes to worse. So here at SCAD Radio, we’ve put together a nice list for all you folks who may also fear our inevitable demise. Enjoy while you still have a Wi-Fi connection and a functioning society.
1. Stock up on food
You know all that ramen you’ve collected under your bed for the whole year? Well they’re completely useless now because the water supply is tampered. Get your fill on canned beans and corn flakes instead!
You know all that ramen you’ve collected under your bed for the whole year? Well they’re completely useless now because the water supply is tampered. Get your fill on canned beans and corn flakes instead!
2. Barricade yourself
Don’t let the zombies in. Wrap yourself in bubble wrap. Block any entrances with large items like a dresser, couch, or your roommate Angelo. Sorry Angelo, but come on man, nobody can get through you and you know it.
Don’t let the zombies in. Wrap yourself in bubble wrap. Block any entrances with large items like a dresser, couch, or your roommate Angelo. Sorry Angelo, but come on man, nobody can get through you and you know it.
3. Weapon inventory
I think we have a fork somewhere?
I think we have a fork somewhere?
4. Count the cash
Money will be scarce once the apocalypse hits. Save whatever you have now until money ultimately becomes worthless. Then you’ll have paper for the fires you’ll need to create. Win/win.
Money will be scarce once the apocalypse hits. Save whatever you have now until money ultimately becomes worthless. Then you’ll have paper for the fires you’ll need to create. Win/win.
5. Pack a bag
You should always have a bag packed for the worst situation possible: leaving your protective camp. Maybe you’re out of food or other resources, or maybe the smell of the nearby dead is overpowering your Febreze, but either way having a bag ready to leave at a moment’s notice is always a good idea.
You should always have a bag packed for the worst situation possible: leaving your protective camp. Maybe you’re out of food or other resources, or maybe the smell of the nearby dead is overpowering your Febreze, but either way having a bag ready to leave at a moment’s notice is always a good idea.
6. Find the perfect songs
In the apocalypse, every moment is a perfect movie moment, so make sure you have the right song. Here we have a list of times you might need a song:
In the apocalypse, every moment is a perfect movie moment, so make sure you have the right song. Here we have a list of times you might need a song:
Fight scene
Montage traveling
Suspicious meeting of friends that didn’t include you
Rubbing Angelo’s back
Someone clipping their toenails
Angelo catching a squirrel
Finding a stash of pickle jars behind the heater
The moment your iPod finally dies
Crying after your iPod dies
7. Form a romantic connection that will ultimately fail
There’s nothing more romantic than forming a relationship before finding out that you rushed into it because the world was ending and now you hate each other, but not enough to break up the group. If that happened, both sides would eventually die on their own. So it looks like you’re stuck with each other. Awkward tension, anger, and all.
There’s nothing more romantic than forming a relationship before finding out that you rushed into it because the world was ending and now you hate each other, but not enough to break up the group. If that happened, both sides would eventually die on their own. So it looks like you’re stuck with each other. Awkward tension, anger, and all.
8. Wish for the best
Really all you have is hope and (hopefully) a really good group of people that can stand the storm of zombies at your door. Best of luck.
Really all you have is hope and (hopefully) a really good group of people that can stand the storm of zombies at your door. Best of luck.
Warning: These tips may not save you at all. In fact, we may have just killed you. Sorry ’bout it!
Originally posted on scadradio.org on March 8, 2017
