Pine Common Board, Metal Lock, Metal Hinges, Wool, String, Fabric, Interactive

Memory is something that cannot be held clearly in images. By the time memory are recalled the imagery becomes distorted; slowly disappearing from the banks of our minds.  

 

A spacial experience rooted in questions of Phenomenology and the encounters with Afterimage perspective, the participated finds themselves confronting their image that is quickly leaving their sight. How the experience works is the viewer observes an inverted image of themselves for no longer than 10 seconds, after observing the rods and cones in the eyes lose sensitivity trying to find rest, this is when the viewer will see the image of themselves. The experience set up in this work puts the participate in a position to see their picture about their height, as well as, putting them in a test to try to capture their image for longer than possible. 

75"x12"

 

A secret is what is not meant to be known or seen by others. When the secret reveals its private intimacy with the individual, then everything is out in the open. In this performance piece, the work is set up in sequelae order of a story starting from the bottom of the tapestry to the top. The story is laid out on the cloth as such so the message can be told by to act of ironing. A private message wrote in lemon juice that drys clear on the fabric, as heat from the iron is applied, a chemical reaction with the juice brings the images into clarity, thus revealing the secret permanently.      

 

Performance Script:
I have a secret that I would like to tell you. Once I tell my secret the stress from keeping it in will be released free. 
When I was younger, I was an extremely shy person who had a hard time making friends due to my social anxiety. I so desperately wanted to make friends, but I had no idea how to take intuitive and introduce myself. Instead, I concealed my feelings into loneliness. Though I at the time did not understand that what I was feeling was that loneliness that plagued me to choke up in front of others. As time went off, I was invited to a friend group that already had established before I entered it. My loneliness still ate at me every time I was asked to hang with this new group of people. I began acting in ways that I thought would please these new friends. I did what they said; I allowed them to make playful jokes on my innocents and stressed about my self-worth. This acting led me to be the perfect house host and soon became the 'mother' of the group of friends. I started caring about others more than myself, went to help my friends to the extremes and listened intently to their problems (which eventually felt like my problems) without expecting anything in return. Still at the back of my mind, there was an emptiness that I could not shake. I became so tired of faking a smile when I was not ok, raised in an upbringing where if you had a problem you had to fix independently for yourself, I drew inwardly. Isolating myself from the outer world I had no idea how to ask for help from someone, that is until one of my friends had found me. I apologized, crying, so many times into her arms for not being honest with her and myself.  She understood me and heard my desperate call for help before anyone else, and I truly am grateful to her for this day. Without her encouragement, I would have never learned how to ask honestly ask for help. I no longer find a weakness in my independence because there are people out there who are always willing to support me.