A Child's Madonna, Oil on Canvas, 48x72"
This is the first in a pair of paintings; both have to do with children—their impressionability, and the sincerity of their nature. This first painting's focus is on my relationship with the idea of worship and religion in both childhood and adult life, the "worship" and "deification" of a parental figure, and how a religious and conservative lifestyle affected me as a child and ultimately molded me into and continues to affect who I am today.
A Loss of Blue, Oil on Canvas, 60x48"
As a child, my perception of religion was always deeply influenced by my family. Like many who grew up in religious families, I was committed to Christianity early on not because I believed in it but because I was taught to see life in this way.
Early on I became almost god-fearing. To me it was important to appear devout, to be good in God's eyes. As a result of this my imaginary friend evolved into a guardian angel. I'm assuming that this sort of figure made an appearance during my infancy because the idea of a guardian angel was something that was very close to me, thus in having this imaginary friend I felt safe and close to my family’s beliefs and values. This is a happy memory. Said guardian angel sits in the back of the painting, sitting to the right of my infant self, representing essential lessons learned growing up.
The image of myself as a child serves as a vehicle for a dialogue about the kind of pressure that conservative families place on their children to follow suit when it comes to the family’s beliefs and values. Moving away from these beliefs is considered almost tabboo where I'm from.
The space is representative of myself and time passing- the background is past, and the foreground is present; at this point the innocence of a child and the belief in a God is lost. The adolescent sprawled accross the foreground is myself at present.
